Some Things Are Just For You.

It’s one thing to understand your past motivation and why it was harmful, it’s another to let it go — and yet another to find a new one that works. This is the third post in this series, which began with Superachiever On The Run.

Do Something Now Your Future Self Will Thank You For (DST) has changed the quality of my life, because it gives me a reason to act in my own best self-interest.

My pandemic schedule requires my full attention. I love the people I serve. I’m so grateful for the days I get to spend with my grandson every week, so grateful for the hours I get to spend with clients and other writers, so grateful for movie nights with my mom, and so grateful for weekends with my partner.

To fully enjoy any of it, to thrive or just survive,

I need to be able to access great stores of energy, patience, creativity, humor, stamina, and flexibility from within my own self.

If I’m going to miss out on precious time with any of these people, it’s not going to be because I neglected my own needs and fell back down.

It’s not going to be because I waited too long to eat or put off shopping for the food that’s actually good for me and now I have a headache. It’s not going to be because I stayed up all night playing games on my phone and binging a whole season on Netflix.

The thing is, 99 percent of the days I lose to migraines and nausea are days that I am my only obligation. I screw myself out of hours of my own creativity. I can’t focus on writing, designing workshops, social media — any of the things I enjoy.

Fear of migraines and nausea did not change my behavior. You know what did? Tuning in to how DST makes me feel when I follow its instructions. When I become aware of the fact that I feel good or I’m enjoying a good meal, or I have written a story I love, or I have plenty of energy, or I’m drifting effortlessly off to sleep, I remember that in this moment I am yesterday’s future self and I thank my former self for setting things up for her future self, my now self, to enjoy.

It sets me up to take pleasure in doing things for my future self.

She’s so loving and appreciative! She makes me want to do more for her. I want to pamper her!

I have become pretty skilled at blocking out the voices of fear and anxiety. I refuse to take this positive, cheerful, #teambronwyn voice for granted. The voice that reminds me to DST is all about me and my pleasure. I love her daily reminders!

I happily do what she asks. Batch cook. Pack my bag the night before. Plan ahead. Run the errand. Make the bed. Do the laundry before it gets dark. Write the story. Breathe.  

They’re simple, grown-up things,

hardly what anyone else would call self care. They are tasks. This is work. That’s their value.

And yet, these simple tasks are so deeply rewarding when someone shows gratitude and appreciation by flooding you with good feelings. I much prefer this addiction to the one involving anxiety’s adrenaline.

Again, the key for me is to be aware of when I have come through for myself. In this moment, today, I benefit when I pay attention to how I feel and why. I feel good. Whole. Stress free. Because I ate a delicious, nutritious salad for lunch, because I made it ahead of time, because I bought the ingredients yesterday, because I ran the errand when I wanted to stay home and play on my phone instead.

Today’s self is yesterday’s future self, and she thanks yesterday’s self for a headache-free afternoon.

Do Something Today Your Future Self Will Thank You For. After a lifetime of doing helpful things and going the extra mile only for others, this motivation is about me. The consequences of doing or not doing affect no one else, and I’m okay with that.

What would your future self like to be able to thank you for?

Take a long moment to think about it. Put yourself in tomorrow, any tomorrow in your life timeline, and daydream.

Would she like to thank you for writing that book? Developing a successful blog? Pushing yourself to write with more emotion? Letting go of the beliefs that haunt you, taunt you, and steal your joy?

One of my favorite ways to show writers the cycle of giving and receiving within DST is to introduce them to my 30-day Flash Lit challenge. If they take a deep breath and write 500 words for each prompt across the month, just for the fun of it, they will have ten stories or personal narratives to thank themselves for at the end of thirty days.

I’m guessing that would be a pretty awesome feeling for you, regardless of where you are on your writing + creativity journey. Ten excuses to write for yourself in one month? I call that heaven.

If you’d like to play with Flash Lit to see where it takes you, sign up in the comments or email me: [email protected]. Official Flash Lit months are every February, June, and October, but I can get you started sooner if you can’t wait.